When toxicity builds up in ones life on several channels, this intricate system called life gets severely compromised and everything malfunctions. That includes the physical, the intellectual, the emotional and the spiritual realms.
It is like walking through chaos, bombarded by uninterpretable sounds, sights and sensations. We were not designed to interpret chaos, we don’t have senses for that. That is when a hard reset is needed. Just like when a computer malfunctions, and can’t deal with the simplest functions because it is compromised. A reboot is needed, an abortion of all processes to a stop, and restart.
That reset is the start of peace. Ideally, our system still remembers its original programming so it can reestablish interpretable order upon restart.
A loved one who leaves this world is a difficult process to resolve, especially if their ghost keeps coming back to deal with unfinished business that has to do with you. Then you become a slave of that ghost knowing that they will keep coming back, and you can never have peace, never let go because you still love them. You stare at the spot where you know they would appear from, and even more, you learn and get addicted to conjuring them back from time to time. Until the day of the reset. Until the day they are gone forever, you know that the door to their world is closed and they will never come back even if you wish they would.
Today a hard reset happened. It was a bit painful, probably similar to something like getting a tooth pulled out. It was fast, sudden, shocking, and it had a clear shadow of permanence. Today the present and the past connected into a circle, an understanding had been met and a door had been closed and bricked up, so it doesn’t exist anymore. The memories of deep connections have sunk back into the background of the subconscious, to only come out at times if triggered. It is time to let go of good and bad, pleasure and pain, inspiration and frustrations that are related to this connection, let them all fly out, move out into the void, where everything is one, there is no definition and no separation between entities.
Being human is a dream that we live in awake mode. It comes with a lot of imperfections, a lot emotions of which most are unnecessary. Nothing serves purposelessness. Since the thought of purposelessness is unbearable and unacceptable, we pick something as a purpose and we build meaning using emotions as tools. Real-looking virtual connections are build this way as well, and their virtual nature is best known when they break and one remains empty handed and alone, just to realize that one really was always alone and empty handed like a naked child born of a dead mother and an old, wrinkled, used up body after death that cools and disintegrates into permanent loneliness in the grave. This is a monster concept, but it is the only reality in this universe, of which billions of humans occupy a tiny space and time each, alone, living in virtual togetherness that can be broken at any second.
The hard reset is also the acceptance of this reality. We are a tiny and temporary light, made of intricate micro-systems that struggle to function as designed, until they fade and go off into the darkness of the macrocosms. In this wider scale system the minute emotions and ties mean absolutely nothing. They have no significance, we just give them too much significance because that is how we fill the void, instead of embracing it and expanding into it… Instead of transcending our own limited being and communing with the universe where there is no pain, no happiness, no interpretation, just STATE OF BEING. We limit ourselves by adhering to or adopting other beings’ ideas, or adjusting ours so we can find commonalities with others, when it is not necessary. The separation from this world, leaving everything behind, transcending our limited being and going off into the universe is an easy and fast process. Infinite peace is only a liberating thought away.